Why did I leave the church?

Positive disintegration

Years ago, when I met Frederik Vester, a professor of cybernetics, at his home in Munich, we had a friendly little dispute.

I told him how much I appreciated that he had found the operating principles of God in his research, because if we looked at creation, we would recognize these principles.

I was young and naive.

His response was that if we created a God, we would naturally attribute to Him the principles we observed, because He is supposed to explain them.

In the meantime I think it is a convergence of the two approaches: scientific empirical results give us a glimpse of the divine that tries to reveal itself to us.

Therefore, I am pleased when I recognize scientific empirical results and theories in which God’s plan is reflected. They help us to see God’s plan with humanity. The Bible also wants to do this, but it has the disadvantage of having been interpreted for centuries. Because this is usually done with a traditional worldview, we often no longer see the message for our time because of all the interpretation. We have a map of the Bible in our heads, and it is closer to our hearts than the Bible itself. But “the map is not the territory.”

Today I want to talk about a theory called Positive Disintegration, which comes from Kasimierz Dabrowski, a psychologist and psychiatrist from Poland and Canada who lived through both world wars.

His observation of how people dealt with trauma, his friendship with Maslow, and his knowledge of Piaget, among other things, led to a theory that describes a possible autonomous personality development.

Unlike the theories of Piaget and other developmental psychologists, it does not contain automatisms, in which most stages are passed through simply by growing older.

But let us start with the description.

Dabrowski distinguishes five developmental stages that a person can pass through. These stages are:

  1. primary or primitive integration
  2. unilevel disintegration
  3. spontaneous multilevel disintegration
  4. directed multilevel disintegration
  5. secondary integration

So what do these five steps look like? Let’s look at my imaginary coachee, Frank:

Primary Integration: Frank feels comfortable and integrated in society. This is about Frank being integrated by his egoistic instincts and drives, i.e. unconscious motivations. His motto: I fit in.

Unilevel Disintegration: First questions emerge in Frank, as he experiences first crises. Frank suddenly sees alternatives to what he previously believed. On closer inspection, these alternatives are hardly different from what was originally believed; qualitatively, on an moral level, they are equivalent to the original.. There are two triggers for this discrepancy: inner conflict or environmental change. The first and second factors react. The first factor is innate personality traits, the second environmental influences. That leads to the new guiding principle: I am confused.

Spontaneous Multilevel Disintegration: Now alternatives appear, one of which clearly has greater value, is qualitatively more desirable. Frank has seen something 1000 times before, and yet today it is different. Spontaneously, Frank realizes the possibility that there could be a higher level of existence, a better lifestyle. He sees behind the scene, recognizes the matrix. But he doesn’t know yet how to deal with it, because he doesn’t play an active part in this story yet. I have a conflict.

Directed Multilevel Disintegration: Frank breaks through the proverbial wall and begins to independently and purposefully question, weigh, shape his own values. He takes control of his own personality development. In the process, instinctive decisions and social values and morals are questioned. A newly acquired third factor helps to drive the development autonomously and with self-direction. There is more.

Secondary Integration: Frank has changed. His values, his worldview, his ideal self-image and his current self are again in harmony, but not determined by instincts and social conventions as in primary integration, but by an independently acquired hierarchy of values. I am.

Let’s look a little closer at a few terms:

First, the three factors:

The first factor is innate and consists among other of three things of interest here: the five overexcitabilities, special talents and abilities, and IQ.

The second factor consists of the social environment, i.e. cultural stimulations, knowledge of personality development to which one is exposed, a peaceful environment, access to competent mentors, and the crises that just are part of life.

The third factor arises from the first two and is a collection of so-called fourth level dynamisms, a capacity of self-control and self-awareness towards an ideal self.

But what are dynamisms?

They are forces and drives for personal development. They appear in the different levels. That’s why we need to say a few more things about the levels:

The second level is called unilevel because the alternatives which one becomes aware of are actually of the same nature as the previous integration. I do not consciously decide on a hierarchy of values and an ideal self, but leave it to my egoistic desires and environmental influences.

There are three ways I can deal with the discrepancies in my perception:

  1. I give up and reintegrate.
  2. I listen to others and let my egoistic need to belong and the second factor (expressed in this case by peer pressure, among other things) decide.
  3. I begin a profound journey of change.

The third stage is called multilevel because, in addition to the primary factors, it introduces an ideal image into which I would like to develop. Only I do not know how, and the changes happen more spontaneously and arbitrarily.

The fourth stage is still called multilevel, because I am still developing from the actual to the ideal self, but now purposefully. I use different dynamisms quite purposefully and consciously to change myself.

So which dynamisms are at work in which stage?

The first factor is innate, so it is already at work in primary integration. A strong first factor leads to spontaneous development. We will see later how this happens.

In the second stage, the second factor is added. Furthermore, we find ambivalence and ambitendency here. Ambivalence is about a conflict in values, while ambitendency is about opposite reactions and behaviour.

In the third stage, we begin to create our own hierarchy of values. Certain values become more important to us than others.

Other forces at work here are: Dissatisfaction with myself, feelings of inferiority, inner turmoil, astonishment with myself, feelings of shame, guilt, and positive maladjustment.

Maladjustment is positive when it drives a development towards the ideal self, i.e. striving for higher things, and negative when it is only about rebellion. In the same way, there is positive, that is, self-chosen conformity/adjustment corresponding to the ideal self, and negative conformity/adjustment due to peer pressure or egoism.

In the fourth and fifth stages, these dynamisms are at work: the third factor, subject-object within oneself (objective self-observation), inner transformation, self-awareness, self-control, autopsychotherapy, self-directed learning, responsibility, autonomy, and the ideal self.

Let’s make a small example:

Frank lives in peace with himself and his environment, but lately feels that others (second factor) have different values from him (ambivalence), behave differently in certain situations (ambitendency), and that some of this meets his own needs more. Plus, these others disturb his inner peace by demanding certain adjustments in order for Frank to belong to their group.

Because Frank has a strong innate developmental potential, he not only joins another group, but develops himself further. He realizes that certain values are more important to him (hierarchization), even if he still often fails to live according to these new standards and then feels ashamed and inferior (multiple dynamisms).

But the more Frank observes himself (subject-object in oneself), and the more his third factor develops, the more he can change purposefully and consciously in the direction of his ideal image.

There comes a point when Frank feels comfortable in his skin. He moves more and more towards his ideal image and is no longer dependent on his environment and his old personality. He has reintegrated himself, that is, formed a personality that contains no cracks.

I would like to look at developmental potential in a more differentiated way. A strong developmental potential consists of the five overexcitabilities, special talents and abilities, and a high IQ.

These overexcitabilities (OE) are characterized by the fact that a small stimulus triggers an above-average reaction, a firework. These are:

  • Intellectual OE: the extreme urge for understanding, knowledge, truth.
  • Imaginative OE: strong associations and metaphors, fantasy, (lucid) dreams, visions.
  • Emotional OE: intense feelings, complex emotions, empathy.
  • Sensory OE: intensive experience of the stimuli of the five senses up to sensory overload.
  • Psychomotor OE: enormous energy, urge to move.

OEs are about intensity, not complexity. Thus, intellectual OE is the urge for knowledge, but not intelligence per se, which is measured using IQ.

Especially the first three OEs (intellectual, imaginative and emotional) strongly support the third factor.

Special talents and abilities are talents in music, sports, art and so on. These abilities are thought to be supported by the OEs and high IQ and are therefore secondary and not basic to the first factor, that is, people can have a strong first factor without displaying traditional special talents and abilities.

A high IQ contributes to a strong first factor, but what is considered a high IQ? People are usually considered to have a high IQ from an IQ of 130-135. It can be shown that the way people think changes qualitatively from about there upward. From these values on, people do not simply think more or faster, but in a completely different way.

What does this first factor now trigger?

When different OEs meet, conflicts automatically arise. The mere intensity and the impossibility to steer or to limit an OE lead to conflicts, as does a high IQ.

It is understood that a strong first factor inevitably triggers inner conflicts and thus a development into the second and from there into the third stage, because a return into socially driven adjustment is not possible.

A weak first factor makes it impossible to develop beyond the second stage. Too strong are the gravitational forces of one’s own needs and the environment.

What about people with a normal, average strength first factor? It depends on how the second factor shows up. In a peaceful environment, with good mentors, the right knowledge, it is still possible to proceed on the path to multilevel disintegration.

What can such a mentor do?

  • He points out contradictions in behavior,
  • gives insight into negative and positive personality traits,
  • reinforces positive traits, such as responsibility,
  • interprets behavior from a moral perspective,
  • promotes self-criticism, independence of thought, behavior, and empathy,
  • trains the individual in the constant desire to subdue intelligence to instincts and in the struggle against selfishness,
  • helps in the development of the ability to organize the inner life,
  • and teaches the individual to meditate.

All this to bring forth and enable the mentee’s own thinking and shaping of their hierarchy of values, carefully watching themselves to not impose their own and just become the mentee’s second factor.

But what does all this have to do with Christianity and with God’s plan for us?

God’s desire is to see us grow into mature personalities. Using the vocabulary of the theory of positive disintegration, God wants us to enter the fifth stage, to experience secondary integration.

Unfortunately, we have turned this process into a cheap copy.

We realize that our primary integration called “living in the world” actually corresponds to an unconscious, egoistical primary integration. The Bible defines it by sin having power over us. We do not reflect God, but live according to our own needs.

The discrepancies that we are usually made aware of through evangelism lead us into the second level, unilevel disintegration.

But here the second factor of our environment becomes so strong that most do not advance to the third level, but accept the hierarchy of values, community and worldview prefabricated by the environment.

For many, a new primary integration follows; for others, it’s a long back and forth between primary integration and second stage, with the group’s cohesive forces always prevailing. Perhaps in such a situation, a change of congregation takes place, only to integrate again because the values of the newfound group fit one’s needs better.

Perhaps one even goes so far as to advance to the third stage. Shame and guilt are effective tools for conversion. Now, however, the church does not lead the new believer further, but offers him the journey back, the restoration and reintegration as a so-called new creature into an old paradigm.

With the help of the prefabricated hierarchy of values, coupled with the need to belong somewhere, and a strong dependence on the second factor, i.e. environmental influences, man returns to a primary integration.

The result is a negative adaptation, because the Bible demands it. All because of strong parts of the second factor with many aspects that satisfy our own needs. A strong gravitational force that prevents us from becoming mature, independent, yet interdependent people.

People with a strong first factor make it in spite of the church. People with a weak first factor can hope for God’s grace, and they would find a wonderful environment in a mature church, if it existed. And people with an average strong first factor? The congregation fails them miserably, because a mature congregation could offer them a second factor that would help overcome the gravitational force of primary integration.

Thus, unfortunately, the congregation stands in the way of God’s plan because it does not have the courage and the necessary tools to deal with people at the fourth and fifth levels. Nor does it have the trust in people to help them develop according to their individual calling and ideal. Rather it has to superimpose its own values.

All this is repeated over the centuries from generation to generation, through all the stages of Spiral Dynamics. My hope is that in the integral worldview we will finally find the courage to break through this pattern.

Back to me. I have a strong first factor. In particular, my intellectual and imaginative OE are strong, and my sensory OE above average since my senses were restored several years ago.

In addition, my IQ has been measured at 157 points.

Why did I leave the community? Because I couldn’t help but escape the gravitational pull of the church in order to become mature as God intended.